Big thanks to Cheryl Morris at Pinyadda for making us aware of Matador’s attempt at objectively determining the worst beer in America. There may be some concerns about their methodology. There may be some issues about the subjectivity of the taste-test. There may even be a question or two about how the beers were selected or paired up.
But there is NO questioning the bravery of the participants who sampled 16 cans of the foulest swill ever produced by man or beast.*
*I include “beast” because most of the beers involved in this taste-test are significantly worse-tasting than the oily secretion produced by stink beetles, the frothy foam opossums cough up when playing dead, and the stomach acid flies regurgitate onto their food to liquefy it before digestion.
Some surprises here. First, my pick for worst beer ever (the Beast) was actually not even in the taste-off (although its bastard cousin, Beast Light was). Both Natty offerings (Light and Ice) were bounced in the first round which will certainly shock Doc Van Drinkale who has been championing the suckitude of Natty forever.
I suppose its just personal preference, but I generally consider the light beers produced by the swill factories to be less offensive than their “full-flavored” offerings. If forced to drink one of these awful beverages, I’d rather have something with no taste than something that is chock full of shitty shittiness. So I was pretty surprised that the Finals came down to Miller Light vs. Coors Light. Matador put it like this: “In both semifinal rounds, we had gone with the selection offering a subtle taste of chemical death over that which took the tart, putrid approach.”
So the grim, formaldehyde flavors of the light beers trumped the rancid, foulness of the other offerings. I guess I can see that. The non-light beers are terrifyingly bad, but they’re clearly just “awful beers”. The light beers are a different species entirely. It’s like voting between the grossest real cheese (say a moldy chunk of gorgonzola) vs. one of those new Kraft cheeses with the chunks of bacon in them. They may both be absolutely disgusting, but the latter is disgusting AND wholly unnatural. That’s not to say I agree with Matador’s selections…but I do see where they’re coming from.
In the end, Coors Light triumphed over Miller Light as the worst beer in America. To be honest, Coors Light isn’t even on my Top Ten worst beers list. It’s impossibly bad, but I would drink it over most other offerings on my earlier Worst Beer post. Still, great job by Matador in taking on the unthinkable…drinking 16 of the nastiest brews ever to determine the ultimate anti-champion.
What does Aleheads Nation think? Thoughts on the methodology of the Matador study? What’s your least favorite beer ever?