Continuing with our Top 50 Beer Names (for #20-11 Click Here…for #30-21 Click Here…for #40-31 Click Here…for #50-41 Click Here)…

Today’s category is TOP TEN. No unifying thread here…just the best of the best.




10. Badonk-A-Dunkel (Port): Port Brewing has lots of amusing names, but for my money, this is their finest. Fun to say. Fun image. And they even worked a beer pun in there. The best of all worlds.

9. Polygamy Porter (Wasatch): The best tag-line ever…”Why have just one?”

8. Smells Like Weed IPA (Dark Horse): No dicking around here…just telling it like it is.

7. Hoptimus Prime (Legacy): Hands down the best hop-related pun there is. Autobots transform and roll out! A shout-out to Doc for making the Aleheads aware of this one.

6. Hop Whore (Tyranena): Of course, even better than a hop-pun is a name that describes how much the beer likes to fuck hops for money.

5. Donkey Punch (Sweetwater): Sorry about your neck, honey.

4. Wizard Sleeve (Kuhnhenn): Arguably the best line in Borat. Look it up…

3. Nut Sack Ale (Boulevard): Mmm…your nut sack is delicious! Note: I recognize that the Top Ten names seem to skew towards the profane, but hopefully I can redeem myself with the final two which are entirely clean.

2. Tastes Like Burning (Ralph Wiggum’s Revenge) (Ithaca): I bent my Wookie! This almost took the #1 spot, but…

1. Up Up Down Down Left Right Left Right BA Select (Dogfish Head): It may look like gibberish, but to a certain generation of males, it’s the only practical way to defeat Red Falcon. I submit that the only way Dogfish Head could top this name is if they were to release a beer called “007-373-5963 Punch-Out Porter”.

And that’s all she wrote, folks. The Top 50 Beer Names. Let me know what I missed!

3 thoughts on “TOP 50 BEER NAMES: THE TOP TEN

  1. Dogfish Head has had some classics in the past. I particularly like their “Golden Shower”, not only for the name but because the name has been changed 3 times. First it was the “Prescription Pills”, but the government wasn’t too happy about that so they changed it to “Golden Shower”. I’m guessing an 18yr old intern working down in Washington finally told everyone what that meant so the beer name was changed once again to “Golden Era”. I think it has since been retired, but a classic none the less.

    Oakleaf Brewing in England has a beer called “I can’t believe it’s not bitter”. Way too easy, but it works.

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